Today was the last stage in The Netherlands so I’m rounding out the recipes with a hearty soup called Seitanstoofpot with Beer. This dish was created to honor International Labour Day on May 1st, so it’s a Dutch homage to hearty factory worker food which invariably involves beer and meat. In the Netherlands, instead of Labour Day, they celebrate Koninginnedag on April 30th – a celebration of the birthday of the Queen’s Mother. The holiday brings folks to the streets dressed in orange much like these fine fellows:
Let me be honest, though, this recipe came out rather…um, not so good. Before I get to that, I wanted to let you in on some amusement I had…
In my research for the Giro stages in the Netherlands, I stumbled across this great Dutch vegetarian site – Vegatopia. To read through the recipes I used Google Translate (Dutch to English) and soon I was lulled into reading interesting grammatical structures from mistranslations.
Google translate sometimes hits the nail on the head, but Dutch seems to give it trouble. You can almost understand it…but then realize you have no idea really what it’s trying to say. (Some of my Podium Cafe readers might recognize this phenomenon as “Fringlish”.)
In particular, this translation of the description of Koninginnedag provided for an asparagus croquettes recipe could better be performed during a poetry reading by a man with a beret and a cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth, snapping and banging on a bongo in a smoky room.
Queen does for most people: a lot of beer and greasy bites. Want to make sure that happen – besides fat – really delicious?…Guys, I have this year is no sense in Queens. All those stupid people who wander about the streets drunk. Just the idea of a candy. Muk mountains that people just had to leave the attic. Gruesome forms of happiness. Spoiled children, worse still, cool parents. Bands which are not starting nothing and remain so. Fanfares. Salmonella huge barbecues full mapping satay, which comes from such a nauseating fumes.
Ahhh, yeah. (I do think that if I ever write a song the line “spoiled children, worse still, cool parents” and “gruesome forms of happiness” have got to be in it.)
So, let’s let Google Translate lead us with a description into of Seitanstoofpot with Beer.
Bovendien zorgt het ontbreken van grote stukken vlees ervoor dat de stoofpot niet uren hoeft te garen, maar in een half uurtje klaar is. Vlug in de keuken dus.
Moreover, the absence of large cuts of meat make the stew not have hours to cook, but in half an hour to finish. So get in the kitchen.
Wait, hold on a minute, don’t go into the kitchen so fast with this recipe until you read further.
Beer selection is probably key for this soup to work. In short, it starts off pretty good on the palate then you get a really bitter aftertaste. I had the opportunity to serve this to others besides my in-house taste tester so I was able to get some interesting impressions of this recipe including:
- It needs a starch in it. But, I like what it did to the kidney beans.
- It tasted like it was going to eventually give me a stomach ache.
- It’s a bowl of bitterness but falls short of vitriol.
- It didn’t have a bad aftertaste, it had a bad middletaste and a good beginningtaste.
- It was bilious…that’s why I had to stop eating it.
That said, try this beer soup recipe at your own risk. There has to be something I’m missing in the recipe and maybe Google Translate led me astray. The only liquid in this soup is the beer so that’s the only culprit I could find. Perhaps the beer should be cut with another liquid? If you know of a beer that doesn’t do this funky turn of taste when you cook with it, please let me know.
Now, without further ado, the last of the cuisine from the Netherlands for the Giro…
Seitanstoofpot with Beer
Translated from Vegatopia
2 onions, sliced (Note: This seemed to be a lot of onion. I used only one.)
1/2 cup carrot, thinly sliced
3/4 cup mushrooms, sliced
3/4 cup seitan (Note: I used a “chicken” seitan and liked how it soaked up the flavor)
3/4 cup kidney beans (from a jar) (Note: I just dumped in an entire 15 oz can, drained)
2 bottles dark beer
1 1/2 T parsley, chopped
2 T flour
a pat of butter
Melt the butter in a pan over medium heat. Cook the onions in the butter and turn frequently. Then add carrots and mushrooms and stir occasionally.
After five minutes add the seitan to the pot. Turn the heat to high and stir occasionally.
Three minutes later, lower the heat and add the beer and some salt and pepper. Simmer 15 minutes with the lid on the pan.
Add the flour into a bowl and get half soup-ladle the liquid from the stew. Put the liquid into the bowl with flour and stir well. Add the flour paste to the stew.
Add the beans and cook another two minutes.
Add the parsley, stir, taste. Add salt and / or pepper to taste and serve. Serve with bread or brown rice.